-- cold cold water

[Anna Maria Capello]

-- now i take you where the water's deep

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Am kicked a rock out from under one of her feet, her boot making a dent of a noise in the silence. She coughed to kill that silence, and then started humming; the silence was too much of a freedom and way too peaceful to left undisturbed. What she was doing at the beach in this cool weather was a question she hadn’t bothered to address as she left her parents’ house, of course after taking a copious amount of cash from their emergency stash, just in case her wandering got too tiresome and she wanted to get something to eat or splurge on an item or two that she would forget about tomorrow. She was twenty-one but she could have been twelve with her almighty thought processes. Under the roof once again of her boring parents and Am felt like she was still in high school. Though, there was that big difference, in that when she was in high school she had lived in the city and not in this shitty dump. She could have gone out with a number of friends back then and not be confined to a cozy cottage of a house, like a little prison that happened to smell good, where the food was digestible and the company… tolerable. However, the constant shrill voicing that Am should get a job and stop lazing about with no agenda got on her nerves. Maybe that was what led her to leave the house and wander all the way to the beach.

She liked the beach. She liked the water. Summer was a different thing, but she might even have gone for a swim when she ventured closer to the water’s edge. Now, she was far off, closer to where the sidewalk sloped into the sand, kicking up bits of rock and shells, trash that had been left behind from what she supposed had been the tourist season. She snorted at that, under her breath and to herself as the beach was relatively empty save for a few joggers and idle citizens farther down the way. Who would come here as a vacation spot, she wondered condescendingly. Vacation, to Am, was a trip to the south of France, to some secluded nude beach or a long drive to California or Florida for a weekend full to the brim with drunken parties and people she wouldn’t remember but for the one funny thing that they said. This little place in the middle of nowhere was not her idea of that. There was no way that Am could be happy in this place so she didn’t even bother to try, instead choosing to complain about all of its lacking attributes, all of the things that her previous home had exemplified in every way possible. Unfortunately her parents had to listen to this since Am hadn’t met anyone yet. Poor girl, she would have felt like such the loner if she wasn’t so headstrong. Loner, her ass.

She sighed though and kept walking, lifting up handfuls of sand with the blunt ends of her boots, reaching into one pocket for hr cigarettes and from the other for a lighter. In a smooth motion, she placed a cigarette between her lips and put the carton back in its place. A small shiver racked through her body as she attempted to work the lighter. But the contraption was stubborn and she had to shake it some, swearing in mumbles. A sign from on high telling her to quit her filthy habit? She didn’t think so, and it eventually sparked to life so she threw that idea away as quickly as it had come to her. The smoke lifted up into the dull blue of the sky and Am found herself much more quickly than she remembered looking down at the surf by her feet, reaching and then pulling back over and over again. She laughed once, short and quiet, leaning down to pick up a few damp shells. Looking out over the water, she spotted a few seagulls soaring on the breeze looking down to spot fish since they could no longer rely on the tourists for French fries and bits of boardwalk fried foods. With careful aim, Am pitched one of the shells at the seagulls. She missed and with a disgruntled frown, she threw the next shell towards the innocent birds.



tagged; open
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